The terms “lady” and “gentleman” imply a degree of respect for the person they describe. A lady does not speak with her mouth full. A gentleman does not discuss his wealth with strangers. And a rough character, such as a drifter or a con man, a prostitute or a child molester, does not warrant the label. Recently there have been complaints about news reporters using the term “gentlemen” to refer to characters under suspicion of criminal behavior. “The gentleman in question is out on parole despite the murder charge.” It would seem that “man” would be a better choice of words.

When writing fiction, keep in mind the terminology you use. Aside from the titled women of Great Britain (a countess, baroness, or the daughter of a duke, for example), a lady is generally defined as a woman of refinement and manners, implying “good breeding.” A gentleman is defined as a man of noble or gentle birth; a man belonging to the landed gentry; or a man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities (Merriam-Webster).

So if you have a group of rugby players or roller derby champs who happen to be female, even if they’re individually ladylike and courteous in their personal lives, it would be best to refer to them as “women,” as in “The women ran roughshod over the competition.” Otherwise your reader might picture a group of delicate, prissy women politely scoring goals and gently pushing their fellow “ladies” out of harm’s way.

Be sure to use “ladies” and “gentlemen” with care and consciousness of the implications of the words and the effect your choice will have on your readers.

More articles like this:

The Use Of Gender-Neutral Language In Your Writing

Agreeing To Agree: Basic Pronoun Rules

Using Sensitive Language

Female. It’s a word that can be both a noun and an adjective. But unless you’re referring to farm animals or giving a lecture on the diversity of nature, someone is sure to be offended if you refer to a woman as a female—as in Carole is a female who knows what she wants. While it’s true that, historically, many renowned authors have used female as a noun, it’s also true that the practice is less accepted in modern usage. 

George and Scott met some good-looking females at the nightclub on Saturday.

In this context, female smacks of depersonalization and disrespect. Most women will agree that being referred to as a female is somehow offensive, even if they’re not exactly sure why. More and more we find that female and male are used to imply inferiority, whether in noun or adjective form, as in That’s just the female side talking, or Typical of a female. Or If it weren’t for the male mentality, we wouldn’t have any wars.

Note that the same objections can be raised when referring to men:

I am determined to get to know that male.

When used in this context, male seems more mammal than human, and the man in question has been effectively depersonalized. But as an adjective, male is appropriate: 

The choir is composed of young male voices. 

In the following sentence, female and male are acceptable as nouns: 

The females lay their eggs in spring, while the males provide constant watch over the nest.

As adjectives, male and female are also perfectly acceptable: 

The newcomers were divided into two groups, female recruits to the left, male recruits to the right.

And while we’re on the subject of sensitivity, perhaps a word about girls. 

There are four girls and three men working at the office.

The (hopefully) unintentional result of this sentence is the trivialization of the contributions of the girls in the office, some of whom have probably not been called a girl for years. The sentence would be less insulting to women—or at least equally insulting to both sexes—if it read There are four girls and three boys working at the office, but this conjures up an image of seven kids running around the office—safer to change girls to women. 

Technically, this whole female vs woman issue is up for discussion. Dictionary definitions of female and male categorize the words as both noun and adjective, with female (n) = woman or girl and male (n) = man or boy. It’s more an issue of context and the importance of word choice when making an impression on the reader, whether intentional or not. If you want to avoid alienating your readers, opt for writing with sensitivity and avoid using biased language. What may be mere words to one reader may be construed as patronizing or insensitive to another, which may leave him or her less receptive to the content of your writing overall. And doesn’t that defeat the whole point of writing?

For more on gender and prose, read Using Sensitive Language.

Question: In fiction, is it okay to begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, yet)?

Answer: Not according to many high school English teachers and not according to Strunk and White (The Elements of Style). The long-enduring rule has been that using a coordinating conjunction to begin a sentence implies a preceding clause to which the sentence should be connected, leaving an incomplete sentence or fragment. However, the majority of modern fiction writers agree that using a conjunction to begin a sentence is an acceptable practice. In fact, creative writers have been doing it for centuries, happily ignoring this “rule” as well as other restrictions, like Thou Shalt Never Use Sentence Fragments or A Comma Must Separate Two Conjoined Sentences. In fiction, the lines between convention and creativity can be blurry. 

Coordinating conjunctions include the words: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so. Beginning a sentence with one of these conjunctions can lend impact or emphasis to the sentence:

I’d really like to go to college. But who’s going to pay for it?

It was a frigid night, with the wind whipping off the lake. Yet she stripped down and dove in anyway.

It is unnecessary to use a comma after a coordinating conjunction. One exception is “so,” which is often used at the beginning of a sentence as a kind of summing-up device, and in this context, it is usually set off with a comma:

So, needless to say, we ended up moving across the country.

As a creative writer, if you begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, fear not—no grammatical rules have been broken, although it’s best to use this technique sparingly for maximum effect. However, keep in mind that in formal communication, business correspondence, and academic writing, you’d be wise to follow the advice of Strunk and White and avoid starting sentences with conjunctions. And not use sentence fragments. (Kidding!)

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Too vs. To
Too is an adverb, with two different meanings:
• Excessive
Example: Don’t heap too much food on that paper plate.
• Also, in addition
Example: Your sister is coming too.
Example: Don’t forget to set her a place too.

To can be combined with a verb to create an infinitive (to + verb):
Example: I can’t wait to swim in the river.

To can also be a preposition.
Example: This road leads to my house.
Example: Don’t speak to your mother like that.

Each Other vs. One Another
Use each other when referring to two people. Use one another when referring to more than two people:
Example: The two friends embraced each other.
Example: The basketball team high-fived one another.

’Til vs. Till
Either of these substitutes for until is appropriate, as long as the punctuation is correct.
Example: I will wait till noon to call.
Example: I will wait ’til noon to call.

Et cetera
This is a Latin phrase meaning “and other things.”
When et cetera is abbreviated, it must be punctuated with a period at the end: etc. It’s used in informal or technical writing to suggest the logical continuation of a list of things.
Example: We’ll need to assemble nuts, bolts, tools, etc.

Do not use etc. after and or to refer to people. Do not use it as a synonym for e.g. or et al.; and do not use it to vaguely refer to “other things” that are not clear to the reader. In creative writing, avoid the use of etc. altogether. Specify all the items in the list or use “and so on.”

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What is "parallelism" in writing? Parallelism: The use of identical or equivalent syntactic constructions in corresponding clauses or phrases. (The American Heritage Dictionary)

Faulty parallelism is the result of mixing up tactics when composing a sentence. This happens most often when a writer wants to make a sentence more interesting, especially when the sentence is long or complex, but the result can be unsettling to the reader. Parallelism can relate to just about anything: nouns, verbs, pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, articles, and prepositions (as in the following example).

Not parallel:      They rode to the market, the post office, and to the library.
Parallel:            They rode to the market, the post office, and the library.
Parallel:            They rode to the market, to the post office, and to the library.

If a sentence contains elements related in purpose or structure, be sure these elements are presented in the same grammatical form.

Not parallel:      I enjoy long walks on the beach, eating gourmet food, and to stargaze on a clear night.
Parallel:            I enjoy taking long walks on the beach, eating gourmet food, and stargazing on a clear night.

Often more a matter of style than grammatical error, achieving parallel structure adds rhythm and elegance to a sentence. Creative writers do have a certain poetic license to forego the rules of parallelism when the result is a more powerful or artistic sentence, but in general, watch out for elements that don’t jibe.

Some more examples:

When I was a teenager, I was a cook at a fast-food restaurant, delivered newspapers, and then I worked as a valet.
BETTER: When I was a teenager, I cooked at a fast-food restaurant, delivered newspapers, and worked as a valet.

We vacation in spring, summer, and in fall.
BETTER: We vacation in spring, summer, and fall.
OR: We vacation in spring, in summer, and in fall.

A time not for words, but action.
BETTER: A time not for words, but for action.

Work is as important as playing.
BETTER: Work is as important as play.
OR: Working is as important as playing.

She is a teacher who is dedicated and, at the same time, finding her students tedious.
BETTER: She is a teacher who is dedicated and, at the same time, finds her students tedious.

The new budget calls for lower salaries, marketing funds, and shorter hours.
BETTER: The new budget calls for lower salaries, lower marketing funds, and shorter hours.

The politician has the charisma, the charm, and has the contacts to run successfully.
BETTER: The politician has the charisma, the charm, and the contacts to run successfully.
OR: The politician has the charisma, has the charm, and has the contacts to run successfully.

Susan is interested but not very good at foreign languages.
BETTER: Susan is interested in but not very good at foreign languages.

At my favorite restaurant, the lunch menu is good but the drinks expensive.
BETTER: At my favorite restaurant, the lunch menu is good but the drinks are expensive.

She traced his face in the photograph slowly and with love.
BETTER: She traced his face in the photograph slowly and lovingly.

Titled vs. Entitled

“Titled” means that something has received a title, as in The movie was titled, Grammar Gurus Gone Wild.

“Entitled” means that someone has rights to something, as in She felt entitled to special treatment ever since she won an Oscar for Grammar Gurus Gone Wild.

What Are We Supposed to Do?

Don’t use “suppose to” or “use to” when you mean “supposed to” or “used to.”

I Wonder How to Punctuate That

Incorrect: I wondered how he knew that?
Correct: I wondered how he knew that.

Incorrect: I asked her if she knew that?
Correct: I asked her if she knew that.
 
Don’t Use Quotes Indiscriminately

We’ve all seen signs like these:

Today only, “free” samples!
See these “classic” cars!
Employees must “wash their hands” before exiting the restroom.

Or phrases…
It’s not really my “cup of tea.”
If you’re not careful, you could end up with the “swine flu.”

The moral of this story: Don’t use quotation marks unnecessarily or for special emphasis.

And Finally…What Is an Aphorism?

An aphorism is a short, to-the-point sentence that sums up a clever observation or general truth:

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everyone has the same size bucket.

Writers are great. They taste like chicken.

With great power comes great responsibility. With mediocre power comes a 1964 Datsun pickup truck and a power suit from Sears.

When life gives you lemons, try making a lemon chiffon cake with extra lemon.

And finally, from Mark Twain:

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Imagine you’re a freshman in high school. Your teacher has assigned a 500-word essay, but you have approximately 20 words of wisdom to share. You’ve already used two-inch margins and triple-spaced the whole mess, but you need more words…so you resort to that old standby: verbal gobbledygook.

It starts out like this:

One of the points that I am trying to make here is…
I strongly believe that it is important to realize that…
Then, to keep the momentum going, you throw in a few choice phrases:
The reason why is because…
At this point in time…
In terms of…
Due to the fact that…
Generally speaking…
It is my opinion that…

And finally, to appear sophisticated, you use big words when other, simpler words would suffice:

On account of. What’s wrong with because?
Irregardless. Yikes. This word needs to be eliminated altogether.
Utilized. Again, what’s wrong with use?
Basically. There are very few occasions where this word is necessary.

In the end you have your 500 words, but a good English teacher will strip your piece right back down to the original 20 words anyway. You’ve wasted your time and, more importantly, your teacher’s time.

Don’t let this bad habit affect your writing today. Whether you’re writing a business letter or a novel, keep in mind that people today are multitaskers. They’re impatient and anxious to get right to the point. When you use clear, concise language, you get your message across in a way that appeals to these busy folks. There’s nothing wrong with using an interesting new word here and there, but don’t write with the thesaurus open beside you, searching for fancy ways to say simple things in every sentence. New writers often make this mistake, operating under the assumption that sprinkling multisyllabic words throughout their text will be impressive. Stick to writing more naturally, and avoid alienating your readers.

Whatever you write take the time to go through and weed out unnecessary words and phrases. “She wondered about the fact that he wasn’t there” can easily be changed to “She wondered why he wasn’t there.” In the examples above note the prevalence of the word “that”—something to watch out for when you’re looking to trim fat. In fact, there’s a good simile: writing is like a great steak. If the customers have to spend several minutes cutting off gobs of fat to get to the good stuff, they will probably get irritated and won’t return to your restaurant.

H.W. Fowler said it best in The King’s English:

Prefer the familiar word to the far-fetched.
Prefer the concrete word to the abstract.
Prefer the single word to the circumlocution.
Prefer the short word to the long.

The English language has a nice, neat system of verb tenses to choose from:

Nearly every piece of fiction will require a variety of verb tenses to show the reader the sequence of events throughout the story. A letter to the editor will most likely be written in the present tense, and a nostalgic piece about your childhood will be primarily written in the past tense. We’ll give a quick overview of the proper usage of all the verb tenses, but first, here’s a question from one Newsflash reader:

"Is there a preferred tense choice for fiction writers, or does one’s choice of verb tense brand one as a “hack” or an amateur?"

Even though tenses fit neatly into a table, making the proper choices isn’t so cut-and-dried. There are various shades of difference between, say, the future and the future perfect, and authors must determine what accurately describes the sequence of events they are trying to convey. Verb tense puts the reader in the proper time frame, and messing around with it can be incredibly distracting, especially if you’re inconsistent. Is this happening now? Is this a flashback? Editors do not care what tenses are used as long as they are used correctly.

For instance, a big, red amateur flag pops up if verb tense is flat-out wrong.

I wanted to find an open drugstore, and I walk into the first one I see.

Obviously, there are two tenses (past and present) where there should be one, and this is jarring to the reader. Pick one tense and stick to it.

A second problem involves using the passive voice. Both of the following sentences are technically correct, but sentence #2 uses an active voice to drive the action…
 
The car was driven quickly down the street. (Who drove the car?) 

Melissa drove the car quickly down the street. (Ah, much better.)

Editors are turned off by the excessive use of the passive voice, and passive writing is often wordy—this can quickly brand you as an amateur. As far as proper usage of verb tenses in general, here’s a quick grammatical overview: Use the present for discussing general knowledge or truth, arguments or ideas, or works of literature.

Dogs prefer an owner with a calm, steady nature. 

Use the past for events that have already happened in the past and are now finished.

In 1966 her parents moved to the Northeast.

Use the present perfect for events that happened in the indefinite past. 

He has argued that carbohydrates are not the enemy they are portrayed to be.

Use the past perfect with the simple past to describe an event that happened before another event.

The storefront had already been destroyed when the police arrived.

Use the progressive form to emphasize action that is happening at that moment.

I am working as fast as I can.

Use the future perfect for actions that will be completed at some time in the future, with one event occurring before another.

When the bell rings I will have been writing for over half an hour.

As with so many aspects of writing, there is no rule that says if you want to get published, use this (fill in the blank) tense. Some writers are able to write fiction entirely in the present tense (something that requires a great deal of skill and practice), but there is nothing amateur about choosing to write in the past tense—the most common and widely accepted tense for fiction. Again, every piece of fiction is likely to contain multiple forms of verb tenses, and the trick is to use them properly and consistently.

Those of us who spend much of our time hunching over keyboards or reading books in armchairs aren’t exactly known for being the washboard-abs crowd. But even if we suffer from too much “butt-in-chair” time, we writers can tone and shape our writing for maximum impact by kick-starting our verbs.

The verbs we use in our normal, everyday conversations aren’t always the best verbs to use when we’re writing. When we’re talking we can use our hands, our tone of voice, and our facial expressions to get our point across, and so we can settle for verb choices that are wimpy and flat. For example:

He ran through the crowd.
I didn’t like my moccaccino.

These phrases might come off as emphatic when they’re uttered in conversation. But when text is our medium, the primary way we can emphasize the tone of the words is by making stronger word choices.

He sprinted through the crowd.
I hated my moccaccino.

Sometimes amping up a verb requires restructuring a sentence.

He darted among the pedestrians.
My moccaccino nauseated me.

And other times the verb choice will need to reflect a character’s dialect or personality.

He bullied his way through the crowd.
I'm not feeling my moccaccino.

But, whatever the case, the verb is often the driving force behind the momentum of a sentence, so it’s important to choose wisely.

One other “problem area” to work on when you’re ramping up your verb choices is the dreaded adverb. Overusing adverbs is the equivalent of trying to do crunches by pushing yourself up with your hands—it’s a way of “helping” the main action, but it makes the results less dramatic. Sometimes adverbs are absolutely necessary, but when you can get rid of them, you should. 

Compare:

I went quickly through the crowd.
I zipped through the crowd. 

I didn’t completely appreciate my moccaccino.
I dumped out my moccaccino.

As you can see, the main idea behind each of the above examples—the subtext—changes subtly from one sentence to the next. It’s these subtle shadings and nuances that make the difference between writing that’s muscular and writing that’s flabby.

Unfortunately, there is a danger of getting a little too carried away with colorful verb choices. It’s tempting to overinflate the action for dramatic effect or because the verb in question “sounds cool.” But that can make the action feel forced or artificial. And when the style of language is not consistent, when one verb screams “exceptional” within a whole paragraph of “normal” verbs, the effect is like looking at a body builder who has never exercised anything but his biceps—kind of distracting.

We recommend that writers exercise their verb use in order to increase strength and flexibility but all in moderation. After all, even if we armchair athletes can’t be powerful and vigorous, at least our verbs can be!

When a sentence contains repeated words, most spell-checking programs will highlight the extra word. It’s a fairly common form of typo. But there are also times when a sentence has been deliberately constructed with double words:

I assured them that that wouldn’t happen.

The spell-checker flags this as a mistake but is it incorrect?

Another example: They were instructed to give her her job back.

Both of our examples are grammatically correct, but some may find them a bit awkward. A simple rewrite can often eliminate the problem.

I assured them that it wouldn’t happen.
They were instructed to reinstate her job.

One other source of confusion is the construction of “had.”

They had had some trouble with their neighbors long before this lawsuit.
If I had had an extra pencil, I would have finished the exam in time.

These are examples of the correct usage of the past perfect form of “have” when it refers back to an earlier past time.

A more troublesome usage of double words involves “is,” as in, The trouble is is that you are from out of town. Or The fact is is that the weather won’t cooperate.

This is incorrect, as well as awkward, and should be rewritten. The trouble is that you are from out of town. The subjects of the sentences are “the trouble” and “the fact,” which require only one verb—“is.”

Sometimes writers try to fix the problem by adding a comma. The question is, is the man going to stick around? The general construction of these “the problem is, the question is” sentences is inherently ungainly and should probably be avoided.

So, do not be unnecessarily troubled by doubled words. If you are unhappy with them, reword your sentence.

As soon as I wrote it, it started to make sense.

Previously, we wrote about the importance of using gender-free language in our writing—not only to avoid excluding groups of people, but also to let the reader concentrate on what we’re saying, not how we’re saying it. There are many ways to offend people—whether it’s women, people with health issues, or entire races—and it’s important to be aware of the language we use in our writing to avoid being insensitive.

Gender Bias and the Singular “They”

If you are talking about a population of people of both sexes, do not alienate one gender by using pronouns that are either male or female. When we know the gender of a group, it’s easy:

            The Girl Scouts convened at noon, and each girl had her speech ready.

But if the gender of the group isn’t quite so clear, things get a little tricky. Consider the following variations: 

1. When the volunteers showed up, each felt their heart sink at the terrible sight.
2. When the volunteers showed up, each felt his or her heart sink at the terrible sight.
3. When the volunteers showed up, they felt heartsick at the terrible sight.

Sentence #1 is technically incorrect, as “their” is plural yet refers to a singular indefinite pronoun (“each”). This is common in speech, but the written word comes under closer scrutiny, and many grammarians insist that this usage is not only incorrect, but unacceptable. Using the singular “they/their” has, however, become more commonplace in modern literature and is not unheard of in historical literature—and many predict that this practice will one day be considered correct and standard form.

Sentence #2 is correct, but, if overused, this technique becomes tiresome very quickly.

Sentence #3 is also correct and eliminates the gender issue altogether.

If you’re serious about writing with sensitivity, avoid loaded words such as mankind, postman, and fireman, and watch out for occupational stereotypes, such as assuming that all kindergarten teachers are women or all police officers are men.

For specific examples of how to fix gender-biased sentences, see The Use of Gender-Neutral Language in Your Writing from our previous blog post.

Other Sensitive Areas:

Country of Origin and/or Race

It is extremely offensive to make sweeping generalities about an entire race or nationality, so be careful how you describe your characters, and avoid stereotypes of any kind.

Sexual Orientation

A person’s sexual orientation should be brought to attention only if it is a relevant part of your story. If your poem is about the prejudice faced by a gay couple, then certainly their sexual orientation is relevant. Saying “The man who took our order was obviously a homosexual” could be construed as offensive if the man’s sexuality has nothing at all to do with the story.

Religion

This can be a very sensitive area. If you view a particular religion as fanatical or cultlike, refrain from describing it as such. Your readers could be mightily offended—and rightly so.

Knock It Off with the Fat Jokes

Not much else to say. Just don’t participate.

There is an exception to all of this. If you are trying to show what a donkey’s behind your character is, feel free to employ all these methods and offend away—as long as it’s clear your character is the insensitive lunkhead, not you.

A collective noun refers to a group of people or things, such as “family” or “flock.” It can be confusing to determine if the noun should function as singular or plural when trying to match a verb with it, so let’s break it down.

SINGULAR COLLECTIVE NOUNS:
 
Mathematics is my favorite subject.
The mob was rounding the corner.
A pair of scissors is on the kitchen counter.         

PLURAL COLLECTIVE NOUNS:
         
Where are my scissors?
The headquarters are located in Boise, Idaho.
         
EITHER WAY:

Many collective nouns can either be singular or plural, depending on their context, and here is where the confusion often lies. For example:

The jury have mixed feelings about the prosecutor’s cross-examination. (Where the individual members have differing emotions.)

The jury is sequestered. (Where the jury is a single entity.)

The staff is waiting in the conference room. (Single entity.)

The staff have special qualifications for this project. (Referring to individual members of the staff.)

My family is very dysfunctional. (Referring to the family as a unit.)

My family have always been proud of me. (Referring to the family members individually.)

Reverend Smith’s flock is very devout. (Single entity.)

Reverend Smith’s flock are always competing with each other. (Individual members are competing with each other.)

The distinctions between singular and plural usage can be pretty subtle. Your job is to decide if you want to focus on the individual or the whole, and match your verbs accordingly. As always, once you’ve made your decision, stay consistent.

When the protagonist of your story pauses to think something, you need to set it apart somehow from the regular text and dialogue. There are a few different ways of setting characters' thoughts.

The most straightforward way to do this is to paraphrase the characters' thoughts into the narrative. For example:

When the brothers climbed up the riverbank, their school clothes coated with mud and filth, it occurred to them for the first time that their mom would be furious. Why hadn't they gone home first to change into play clothes? Oh well, they were already in trouble for being late for dinner, and they might as well get it over with. The trio trudged home reluctantly.

Another useful technique is to use italics, which is an effective tool when both thoughts and spoken dialogue are interspersed. This technique is becoming standard practice among publishers—and for good reason. The different type style makes it quite clear when a person is thinking versus speaking aloud:                                   

When the brothers climbed up the riverbank, their school clothes coated with mud and filth, it occurred to them for the first time that their mom would be furious. Why didn't we go home first to change into play clothes? Roger thought. "We're already in trouble for being late for dinner, so we might as well get it over with," he told his brothers, and the trio trudged home reluctantly.

This style is also popular with science fiction and horror writers, who use italics to show telepathic communication between characters. Some writers use quotation marks to set off thoughts, but this can get complicated, especially when thoughts and spoken dialogue are mixed. 

When the brothers climbed up the riverbank, their school clothes coated with mud and filth, it occurred to them for the first time that their mom would be furious. "Why didn't we go home first to change into play clothes?" Roger thought. "We're already in trouble for being late for dinner, so we might as well get it over with," he told his brothers, and the trio trudged home reluctantly.

There is nothing to differentiate between the spoken sentence and the thought. This can be avoided by using single quotation marks around the thought, but this is an awkward fix, and we don't recommend it.

When the brothers climbed up the riverbank, their school clothes coated with mud and filth, it occurred to them for the first time that their mom would be furious. 'Why didn't we go home first to change into play clothes?' Roger thought. "We're already in trouble for being late for dinner, so we might as well get it over with," he told his brothers, and the trio trudged home reluctantly.

If your character is thinking something to himself, it is redundant to say so.
 
Wow, that sure is a small car, the large man thought to himself.

But if he is thinking out loud, tell this to your reader. 

"Wow, that sure is a small car," the large man thought aloud. 

Finally, whichever style you choose to follow, make sure it stays consistent throughout your work, and make it easy for your reader to follow what your characters are thinking, as well as saying.

Here is yet another example of the subjectivity of language. Standard American English is an ever-evolving entity, and experts disagree on many aspects of what is "correct." Dictionaries and textbooks vary slightly when it comes to standards of usage, and it is often up to the writer to determine which rules to follow. When it comes to word choice, should you use toward or towards? Cannot or can not? If you're like most writers, you turn to the dictionary and discover that towards is listed as a "variant," which leads you to believe it is "nonstandard." What does that mean? Is it correct or not? Dictionaries list nonstandard words to indicate that they are commonly used but are not necessarily correct. You'll also find jargon and colloquialisms in the dictionary, but you wouldn't use the word "ain't" in your essay just because it's in the dictionary. (Naturally, you could use it in dialogue.) In other words, err on the side of standard usage.

Standard American English is "substantially uniform and well-established by usage in the speech and writing of the educated and widely recognized as acceptable" according to Merriam-Webster. Based on that definition, we have put together the following list of standard and nonstandard words and phrases.

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We’ve been told not to split infinitives (or to not split them!) ever since grade school, and the reason goes way back. In Latin the infinitive form of a verb is one word, and as 19th-century grammarians were big Latin fans, they decided that the rules of English should conform to those of Latin. Hence, splitting an infinitive would be akin to splitting a word in half. But in modern times, when we are not translating Latin, splitting an infinitive is not necessarily bad grammar.

For example:

Before it careened out of sight, the car managed to just make the corner.

In this sentence the infinitive is "to make," and inserting "just" between the infinitive puts the emphasis on the fact that it was a near thing.

Another example:

Our goal is to further cement relations between the two countries. Here the infinitive is split to emphasize "further."

The more "correct" form changes the meaning of the sentence: Our goal is to cement further relations between the two countries.

Or: Our goal is further to cement relations between the two countries. In this case, not splitting the infinitive leads to awkward phrasing and a clumsier sentence.

Another example is the famous Star Trek title sequence: To boldly go where no man has gone before!

Again, this phrase loses strength when the infinitive is not split. To go boldly where no man has gone before just doesn’t pack the same punch.

Most writers strive to keep their infinitives cozily joined together out of fear of looking ignorant of basic grammar. And it’s true that, most of the time, the infinitive functions best as a whole unit. However, the writer should always err on the side of comprehension and flow rather than the conventions of 19th-century Latin afficionados. George Bernard Shaw said it best when he wrote to The London Times:

"There is a busybody on your staff who devotes a lot of time to chasing split infinitives: I call for the immediate dismissal of this pedant. It is of no consequence whether he decides to go quickly or to quickly go or quickly to go. The important thing is that he should go at once."

The following guidelines can help you determine when to use capital letters (and when not to).

Capitalize the first word of a sentence, including the first word of a quoted sentence.

It wasn't easy to ignore him when he yelled, "Get a life, you weasel!"

Capitalize proper nouns.

Lake Michigan, State Street, Williams Welding Company, Jupiter, Pacific Ocean

Capitalize titles that precede the name. Do not capitalize if the title is a description that follows the person's name.

The best course was taught by Professor Leo Smith.

Leo Smith, one of the college's professors, edited the literary magazine.

Capitalize titles when used in address.

The stand is yours, Officer Higgins.

Is it possible, Doctor, that you made a mistake?

Capitalize family relationships only when used as proper names.

I went to visit Uncle Frank, but my other uncles couldn't go with me. I was able to convince Father to come with me, but my mother didn't feel well.

Do not capitalize directions unless they are part of a proper name or refer to a specific region.

Each week I travel a few miles south to West Yorkshire.

They're packing up and heading for the Southwest.

Capitalize the names of God, religious figures, and holy books. Do not capitalize the nonspecific use of the word "god."

She covered all her bases and sent up prayers to God, Buddha, and the Virgin Mary.

In some cultures, the worship of many gods is more common than monotheism.

Capitalize the days of the week, months, and holidays. Do not capitalize the seasons unless the season has been personified—and even then it's optional and sometimes considered old-fashioned.

We celebrate Thanksgiving in November, just as fall begins its transition into winter.

Suddenly, the icy breath of Winter chilled our skin.

Capitalize periods and events. Do not capitalize century numbers.

Great Depression

twentieth century

Capitalize political, social, military, and athletic groups.

Seattle Mariners

Republicans

Native Americans

Mothers Against Drunk Driving

Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy

And one final tip. In creative writing, it's tempting to capitalize words that are important to your sentence, such as "love" or "justice." This is generally frowned upon.

The past tense is fairly easy to comprehend. When we talk to our friends we use past, present, and future tenses with ease, but as writers we use other tenses to enhance our work and help explain the sequence of events to our readers. One of these is the past perfect tense, which is, in essence, a little more past than past. When used correctly, this tense tells the reader that we’re going back in time, even beyond the usual past tense that is employed in most fiction. Technically speaking, it is used to refer to a noncontinuous action in the past that was already completed by the time another action in the past took place.

The past perfect can be very useful in fiction writing because you can go back to a previous event without confusing your reader.

She had worried about her sister’s drug problem when their mother died and had taken steps to find a suitable rehab program. But her sister continued to push her away over the years, and eventually, Joann decided to step back from the problem and stay available should her sister need her. She knew how stubborn and independent Julie could be.

It can also be annoying if overdone. Once you’ve established that you’re going back in time, you can revert back to the simple past tense. In the above example, we reverted back to the past tense after "rehab program." The flashback had already been established, and there was no need to continue with the past perfect.

The past tense becomes the past perfect with the addition of the verb "to have."

Past: I wrote that poem.

Past perfect: I had written that poem.

The past perfect tense implies that I wrote that poem before something else happened, as in "I had written that poem before experiencing a broken heart." Another example:

Past: I wanted to learn more about Italy, so I called my friend Stephanie, who lived in Florence.

Stephanie was probably still in Florence at the time of the call.

Past perfect: I wanted to learn more about Italy, so I called my friend Stephanie, who had lived in Florence for several years.

Stephanie no longer lives in Florence.

If you’d like to test your skills, take a crack at our little quiz.

Thomas Edison invented/had invented the lightbulb.

They never owned/had never owned a dog before Samson padded into their lives.

By the time Mr. Johnson got home, his family ate/had already eaten dinner.

As soon as he spotted the guard, he ran/had run off.

When the music started, the teenagers started/had started to dance.

Andrew couldn’t open the door because he forgot/had forgotten his key.

Bobby has never been/had never been to a baseball game before that night.

If I knew/had known, I would have come by yesterday.

The women fell ill a short while after they ate/had eaten the crab salad.

My son already read/had already read that book before the movie came out.

Answers:

invented

had never owned

had already eaten

ran

started

had forgotten

had never been

had known

had eaten

had already read

Children across America cheered when Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat was first released. It was easy to read and had cool pictures. But best of all, it was interesting. No more "See Jane run. See Spot run. See Jane and Spot run." Theodor Geisel had changed the nature of children's primers by deviating from the traditional monotonous primer style. Instead of using nothing but short, simple, choppy sentences, as children were used to, Geisel worked the same 25 words throughout his text to reinforce vocabulary, and he did this in longer, silly, and varied sentences. It's no wonder his books continue to fly off the shelves today. When a child has a choice between a Dick and Jane primer and Green Eggs and Ham, that child is far more likely to choose "I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!"

Whether or not you're writing for children, you should watch your own writing for signs of primer-style construction. There's nothing wrong with using short sentences, especially when they're used with a variety of other, more complex sentences. Short sentences pack a punch. But if you find that your text is reading choppy, check for the overuse of primer-style construction. Variety and surprise keep the reader alert and interested, and the same goes for the construction of sentences. A text that reads in primer style is often flagged as amateur.

Here are a few examples of how to create more complex sentences, not only making them more suitable for an intelligent audience but also making the most concise and effective use of words.

Combine independent clauses:

We traveled to the desert. We forgot to bring water.
We traveled to the desert but forgot to bring water.
We traveled to the desert; however, we forgot to bring water.

Use a subordinate clause:

Officer Smith had only two years on the job. He was assigned to the toughest neighborhood.
Although Officer Smith had only two years on the job, he was assigned to the toughest neighborhood.

Eliminate repetition:

My dog is a Beagle. My dog is named Sally. My dog loves to run along the riverbank.
My dog Sally is a Beagle who loves to run along the riverbank.

Use "and" to join two related ideas:

In school Sally learned to multiply double digits. She also learned how to divide fractions.
In school Sally learned to multiply double digits and divide fractions.

Use "but" to show contrast:

Officer Smith had only two years on the job. He was assigned to the toughest neighborhood.
Officer Smith had only two years on the job, but he was assigned to the toughest neighborhood.

Use a participle phrase:

Mr. Jones decided to go bowling without his wife. He wanted to join his friends for a men's night out.
Deciding to go bowling without his wife, Mr. Jones planned to join his friends for a men's night out.

Use an absolute phrase:

Bob clutched his trophy firmly to his chest. He left the bowling alley with a triumphant grin.
His trophy clutched firmly to his chest, Bob left the bowling alley with a triumphant grin.

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As much as writing is a part of our soul, our personal expression, when we’re trying to sell our work, we must keep in mind that we’re writing for an audience. And today’s audience can be tough to please. As you read what you’ve written, consider possible ways your work can keep a reader interested and happy. Is the piece wordy, confusing, or filled with sexist language? Do you overuse certain words or phrases or bore the reader with too much jargon? It’s worth a second look to make sure you’re keeping your reader happy.

You’ve probably never read a novel in which pages and pages are devoted to tedious dialogue, and the reason is simple: chances are slim to none that such a book would get published.

"So, would you like to use our telephone?"

"Yes, please."

"I’ll find it for you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, here it is."

"Great."

"Do you need a phone book?"

"Yes, please."

At that moment, my companion keeled over dead. So I decided to go home and recuperate from the trauma.

The next day, I decided to go to the grocery store...

The trivial interchange above does not influence the plot or define the characters. It provides nothing but filler. And when a pivotal moment does occur, it is given but one full sentence, and we’re off again onto more inconsequential pursuits, like passing dishes at the dinner table, or ticking off items at the grocery store. It’s monotonous and meaningless.

Timing and plotting issues can ruin the flow of a story, and while these are the mistakes of a brand-new writer, it never hurts to review a few of the issues that may turn your reader off. After all, what reader wants to relive all the trivial moments of life? Don’t we pick up novels in the hopes of being transported? Riveted by new experiences and interesting characters? Removed from our mundane lives for a little while?

The above example may be extreme, but the point is simple: keep your reader in mind at all times. Have others read what you’ve written and consider their comments.

Here are some other things to avoid in your quest to make your reader a happy camper:

Wordiness

I, myself, have not decided what to do in the event that I don’t graduate this year. Perhaps I could utilize my parents’ connections to secure a job, like many individuals before me have done.

Today’s reading audience appreciates a straightforward, concise read. They’re busy, and they appreciate concise, economical language. Why use the word "utilize" when you can say "use"? Or "in the event of" when you can say "if"? And save the "myself" and "individuals" for police reports…

Sexually or racially biased language

The serving girl arrived with Cokes for the lady doctor and the Oriental gentleman.

Someone is bound to be offended by this sentence.

Shifting tenses

It had been awhile since Sarah saw Bruce, and she is in love with him. They will have been a couple for two years now if it weren’t for their three-month separation.

Confusing? Yes. Irritating? Extremely.

Comma splicing

There was a lovely fragrance in the air, she was so taken by the local flora that she vowed to make a stop at the garden center before leaving town.

Make these two separate sentences, or add a conjunction to join them. Please.

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Like all languages, the English language is constantly developing and changing. Today's language is a far cry from the Victorian-style speech of our forefathers as we incorporate teen speak and pop culture slang into our everyday vocabulary, and new terminology emerges with the advent of new technology. Surfin' the 'net is pretty cool!

While this may be a natural development, many language purists recoil in horror at the degradation of our native tongue. Not only have new words been formed (when did "truthiness" become a word, and how is "fax" a verb?), but many of the standard grammatical rules seem to be open to interpretation. Commas are becoming arbitrary in some cases, and punctuation itself is often an artistic decision rather than an accepted part of writing. This is good news for modern-day writers—freedom of choice is always good news for the artistic community—but it's somewhat of a concern for those who make their living editing others' work. Copy editors and proofreaders are caught somewhere in the middle of this dilemma, as they strive for perfection without influencing or changing the author's style or meaning. It's a fine line and the subject of much debate.

Writers are faced with countless decisions about character, plot, setting, and style. They choose their language and style based on their audience and the purpose behind their pieces. For example, it would be inappropriate to use text-messaging lingo in a formal business letter, and a good writer would not script a Bronx street scene using stilted, formal English. If the writer were forced to conform to absolute correctness, the Bronx street scene would be a ridiculous piece of writing since the characters would speak like 19th-century poets.

On the other hand, standards seem to have slipped in recent years. One proofreader laments the frequent incorrect usage of pronouns, as in "If anyone wants me to pick up their mail, they should let me know." Politically correct writers would not substitute "he" for "they" for fear of offending women, and the pronoun defaults to "they"—incorrect in number, yet commonly used throughout all manner of writing. Even the Oxford University Press condones the use of "their" with a singular antecedent, presumably to avoid being old-fashioned and sexist.

Purists also find themselves up in arms over split infinitives—once a no-no, but not a deal-breaker today. The Oxford University Press also now sanctions the use of split infinitives, much to the dismay of experts. Traditionalists see these issues as proof of the degradation of our language and argue that we're cheapening it through bad grammar. Others argue that writers should follow their purpose and write for their audience, rather than focusing on perfect grammar. For instance, copywriters for advertising agencies tend to take extreme liberties with the English language (got milk?), and this is an acceptable practice in the industry. Poets and other creative writers also take great liberties with language and style.

Copy editors and proofreaders face a quandary. Alienate the writer and fix the incorrect grammar, or go with the flow...and cringe inwardly at "I only want to do what's right." These editorial professionals have an obligation to point out mistakes that once upon a time would probably not have appeared at all—but only if they have no compunction about being ignored.

When it comes to the basics, however, most experts agree: it's never going to be acceptable to be ignorant of the rules. We can all rest assured that it will never be acceptable to use they're/their interchangeably. Run-on sentences will never be pretty, and hens should never lie an egg. At least not yet.

Did you know that unassuming little misplaced modifiers actually have the power to run people off the road while driving, cause them to choke on their sandwiches, or even cause fits of hysterical laughter? Talk about powerful! Don't let their harmless appearance fool you. One little misplaced modifier can turn a simple hand-lettered sign or billboard into an Internet-cruising joke in no time flat. Confused? Take a look:

Sign posted at a Moscow hotel:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except on Thursdays. (Gee, it's a good thing we don't live there!)

At an office:

For those who have children and don't know it, there is a daycare on the first floor. (Must be some pretty quiet kids.)

Misplaced modifiers can also create some interesting mental pictures:

Pizza was given to the teenagers that had pepperoni and olives on them. (I'd like to see some teenagers with sausage and mushrooms on them.)

This summer, I stood knee-deep in the river and caught a fish without waders. (It would be fun to catch a fish that wasn't wearing clothes, wouldn't it?)

Let's go back and make sure we all understand the function of a modifier, and then we can get back to making fun of its improper usage.

A modifier is a group of words that describes or gives additional information about another word (or words) in a sentence. A misplaced modifier is placed incorrectly within the sentence so that it ends up describing (or modifying) the wrong word. For example:

Correct: I like okra when fried.

Incorrect: When fried, I like okra.

The second sentence gives the impression that I like okra only after ingesting drugs and/or alcohol.

Correct: The back tire went flat while I was driving to work.

Incorrect: While driving to work, the back tire went flat.

The second sentence gives us a mental picture of a tire driving to work!

Humorous or confusing examples of misplaced modifiers often circulate through e-mail, and real-life examples are everywhere, especially if you're looking for them. Who hasn't questioned themselves when seeing that all-too-familiar sign, "Slow Children Crossing"?

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