5 Ways To Send Guilt A Big Fat Rejection Letter

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Writer Feeling Guilty

You know about writer’s block. But did you know there’s such a thing as writer’s guilt?

The writing life comes with its share of guilt. Guilty feelings can come from needing to block off lots of alone time, from not making a huge income, and from many other sources. But there are healthy, constructive ways to work through the guilty conscience that can come with being a writer.

Check out our five solutions to overcoming guilt in the writing life!

1. You feel guilty turning down invitations because you need the time for writing.

PROBLEM: Aunt Petunia is hosting a barbecue this weekend to celebrate her daughter’s graduation from preschool. Unfortunately, you had slotted that day to enter a short story in a contest you know you can win. You really need to stay in this weekend to write—but what if no one understands why entering this contest trumps little Betsy’s grad party?

SOLUTION: If you were a lawyer and had to prepare for your upcoming motion, you wouldn’t feel guilty. And you know that if the barbecue had been scheduled for the weekend of the World Series, baseball-obsessed Uncle Milton would have no problem RSVPing with a big, fat “No.”

Admit to yourself that you work hard at your writing and you’re passionate about it (and you shouldn’t have to apologize for it!). So while you may not feel comfortable going into detail as to why you can’t come see Betsy modeling her miniature graduation cap, let yourself off the hook and get some butt-in-chair time.

2. You feel guilty asking for help in your writing career (with things like licking envelopes, proofreading, getting feedback).

PROBLEM: You’ve researched creative writing markets, written a stellar cover/query letter, polished your writing, printed address labels…but here you are now with just two hands. You’d love to ask your family and friends for help, but you don’t know how to make your case.

SOLUTION: Nobody likes chores, so don’t ask, “Can you fold and seal 25 envelopes for me?” Instead, invite some friends over for an envelope-party. Order a pizza and pop in a movie, and ask your friends to spend half an hour stuffing envelopes. Make sure to express how much their help means in getting you to your goal of publication, and they’ll feel appreciated instead of used. However, don’t get too used to throwing awesome envelope-parties. Submissions are moving online—you may need to start hosting e-sub parties instead!

The same logic goes for other kinds of help, like editing or feedback/advice after reviewing your work. Begin on the right foot by telling the person how much their help would mean, how much you respect their opinion, etc. and ask if they’d give your work their discerning and critical eye. A little flattery never hurts!

3. You feel guilty that you don’t have a list of publication credits to justify the time and effort spent writing and submitting.

PROBLEM: You spend a lot of time working on your craft, but it still hasn’t paid off in the form of significant publication. You’re having trouble explaining to friends and family—or even yourself—why you’re working so hard on your writing.

SOLUTION: Every published author started out as an unpublished author. While publication credits certainly help catch the attention of agents and editors, quality writing can be its own advocate. Keep writing, working on your craft, and submitting. Your next publication credit may be an asset to your cover/query letter—or the springboard to your writing career.

4. You feel guilty because you won’t let everyone read your work (in one form of revision or another).

PROBLEM: You’re faced with loved ones peering over your shoulder as you write, or begging for a reading when you’re really not ready. When they point out that you share your work with a writing group and/or submit to journal editors or literary agents, you’re not sure how to explain why that’s different.

SOLUTION: You have the right to ask for understanding. Explain that the opinions of friends and family can mean the most, so while you can deal with criticism from people in the biz, it could hurt deeply if your friends and family don’t love your writing.

If the person seems genuinely pained by the lack of sharing, you can try a compromise: Consider allowing the person to read the work once you’ve deemed it ready to submit to agents and editors. Or let him/her read it “first” once the work has been accepted, before the book or journal edition is published and read by the masses. The important thing is that you, first and foremost, should feel good about the compromise. If not, your loved ones may just have to buy the book or publication to read your writing.

5. You feel guilty writing about inspiration gleaned from real life because of the other people involved.

PROBLEM: Cousin Ron splitting his pants at your sister’s wedding was comedy gold, and you’re eager to add it to the short story you’re working on. And the pain of your loved one’s passing is something you just need to write a poem about. But you want to avoid hurting anyone by revealing what might be sensitive information.

SOLUTION: Of course your creativity comes from real life, but that doesn’t mean you have to needlessly embarrass or betray anyone. Take steps to disguise people…take a lot of steps. You can still write that scene about a man splitting his pants at a wedding—or was it a teenage girl at a school dance? You get the idea.

If you do write a scene with direct connections to real life, remember that you can’t unpublish your work. So if your catalyst for writing is anger or spite, you’re probably better off writing that piece in your private journal (not everything needs to be published).

Read more: Creative Nonfiction: How To Stay Out Of Trouble.

Writer QuestionsQUESTION: How do you handle tough questions and criticisms from loved ones about your writing life?

OR

Write your own rejection letter to guilt and post it in our comments section. We’ll start!

Dear Guilt,

The huge volume of emotions we receive necessitates sending a form letter. I wish I could give you the personal attention that you probably feel you deserve, but I have better things to do with my life. And no—I don’t even feel guilty for saying that. Thank you for your submission. Now go away.

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Mail Call: A Hilarious Letter From A New Client

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mail, writer's reliefA new client got in touch with us recently to use our A La Carte Service, and we have to admit, we’re especially excited about this particular project. It takes a familiar genre, stays true to the elements that make that genre so appealing, but also turns them entirely upsidedown.

The author of the book sent us a hilarious letter. And we wanted to share part of it with you. But first, a little backstory is in order.

Our query letter writing department is actually a whole team of folks from varied backgrounds, people from the publishing industry, proofreaders, and also voracious book lovers. We like to take a “put our heads together” approach. Then, we show the letter to the book author and work with him/her some more, until we’ve got it right.

So, here’s what we received.

Dear Kriste,

That is to say Dear Kriste and whoever may have the fortune of finding themselves on team Bradley… thank you all for taking the time to tackle this project.  Obviously, if I knew how to go about selling my own book, I would have done it by now.  I’m sure you all have lots of experience and, as I can’t see any of you, I imagine you are something like the colorful cast of newsroom characters in Mary Tyler Moore—or maybe like Dick Van Dyke’s crew of jingle writers on The Dick Van Dyke Show.  In my mind you are all eating takeaway Chinese late at night and brainstorming as to how to get the most fantastic query ever on paper.

–

Actually, since we’re in New Jersey, we kinda like pizza. We also order from Veggie Heaven pretty regularly too, because that’s how we roll.

Do you have a question for Writer’s Relief? Send to info@wrelief.com. We may (or may not) include your letter on our blog!

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Self-Publishing: The Seven Best Kinds Of Books For Self-Publishing Authors

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self-published booksSome books, no matter how awesome they are, just won’t be a hit with the big six New York publishers. The bigger the publisher, the bigger they want their profits to be.

But some books that won’t hit national best seller lists might become local or regional faves. Just because major publishers aren’t seeing dollar signs, it doesn’t mean the signs aren’t there!

Here are just a few types of books—there are many more—that may be especially well-suited to self-publishing. (NOTE: Often, independent presses are open to alternative books too.)

Seven Book Types That Were “Born” For Self-Publishing

Projects of alternative lengths. A publisher might say there’s no market for your 30,000-word memoir or your 150,000-word novel. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create a market for it if you’ve got the excitement and drive. Read more: The rules of genre fiction books.

Regional market books. Are you really into hiking trails in a specific region? Or maybe the folklore surrounding a certain river? Or the best restaurants for romance in a given city? Tapping into a region’s “branding” is a great way to sell books in that region (and beyond). And while international publishers might not be ready to publish a book that won’t sell outside of a certain region, many local book stores, libraries, and tourist spots are willing to carry self-published books about relevant topics.

Niche market books. Perhaps you’d like to turn your blog about having a very rare illness into a book in order to help people who  are in your situation. Self-publishing is a great way to do that. Maybe your audience isn’t huge, but it’s important. Or maybe you’re a vegan creating a book of low-carb slow cooker recipes. Again, not a huge market. But if that’s something you’re into anyway, why not publish a book? You’re probably not alone, and there’s a group of people out there who may be waiting for a book like yours to come along.

Stories that need to be told. Sometimes, having a story that’s burning to be told is enough of a reason to self-publish. Perhaps you want to share and preserve the story of how your grandfather survived a decisive battle in World War II in an unusual way. Perhaps you want to set the record straight about an unknown element of a high profile court case that has personal meaning to you. Even if big publishers aren’t interested, self-publishing can lead to emotional (and possibly financial) reward. Read more: Is it worth your time to write a memoir?

Mixed genre collections. Books that are combinations of poems, stories, essays, etc., often stump big publishers because they’re not easy to market with pinpoint accuracy. Self-publishing might be a great alternative.

Poetry collections. So few big publishers are putting out poetry collections by a single author. These days, there are various alternative methods to get a poetry collection published. Self-publishing is a viable option, especially if you’re hoping to sell copies at your open mike and library readings. Tip: Before you publish, know the current industry etiquette regarding previously published writing.

Books that don’t play to trends. Just because a book doesn’t feel fresh and trendy to a publisher, doesn’t mean it’s not relevant. For example, according to this article, Lionel Shriver’s book The New Republic was passed over by publishers in 1998 because of its angle (a satire on terrorism and journalism, among other things). In the mid-2000s, the book’s ironic voice was out of fashion and the topic was taboo.

Finally, in 2012, the book was published—but by then, many reviewers dubbed it a bit antiquated and out-of-touch. We wonder if the book would have been received differently if the author had chosen to self-publish it when it was completed.

Of course, these are just a few of the kinds of books that can do especially well in the self-publishing market. The sky’s the limit! If you’re not sure if you’re ready to self-publish, take our self-publishing self-test.

Writer QuestionsQUESTION: Have you ever bought a self-published book?

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Lit Mag Spotlight: Prairie Schooner

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Meet Prairie Schooner, an awesome lit mag that has been publishing since 1926! In addition to a fabulous print edition, Prairie Schooner also has Web-only features, a fancy new website, and a super cool podcast, Air Schooner.

Check out this great journal to read the best fiction, poetry, essays, and reviews being published today by beginning, mid-career, and established writers.

CONTEST! Leave a comment by May 17 to enter to win a free Prairie Schooner T-shirt! This contest is now closed. Congratulations to Toribio, our winner. Thank you to all who participated!

1.        Give us the lowdown on your journal’s mission.

Called by Bill Henderson, editor of the Pushcart Prize anthology, “a granddaddy of them all,” Prairie Schooner has been around for more than 85 years. We publish the best stories, poems, essays, and book reviews by established and up-and-coming writers. Our new Editor-in-Chief Kwame Dawes is excited by unique writing from American and international authors of all aesthetics.

2.       Describe your ideal submission in 15 words or less.

It makes us jump up, grab the nearest person, and shout, “You’ve gotta read this!”

3.       Tell us about a piece you recently published that got the staff really excited. Why did you love it? Why did it strike a chord? Can readers find it online?

In our Winter 2011 Special Irish Issue, we published a poem by Irish author Patrick Toland called “How to Eat a Quince.” The few staff members who read it before it was published knew it was wonderful, but once it was published we received so many compliments! Our senior readers voted that Toland should receive one of our annual awards; our Editor-in-Chief Kwame Dawes nominated the poem for a Pushcart Prize; and months later at an Irish conference a writer approached us to gush about the poem. Read it here!

4.       Regarding submissions: What’s the most common turn-off that you encounter (in terms of craft)?

Writing that is pretentious and self-congratulatory.

5.       What’s the most common oversight (in terms of submission guidelines)?

Some writers simultaneously submit (which we discourage) and fail to notify us when a piece is taken elsewhere; it’s always disappointing to let go of a story, poem, essay, or review that we love.

6.       Where can readers find your submission guidelines?

You can find them here.

7.         Why is your journal awesome?

Let us count the ways! Our new Editor-in-Chief Kwame Dawes is always brainstorming how to make Prairie Schooner even more terrific. This January, we launched a new website and introduced a podcast series called Air Schooner (check it out on iTunes!), a quirky and informative poetry column called Poetry News in Review, and Fusion, online collaborations with other journals based on themes (work, food, home, etc.) that feature archived poetry from both journals as well as visual art from local artists.

Starting with our Winter 2011 Irish issue, each winter issue of Prairie Schooner will be internationally themed; Sherman Alexie will guest-edit our Winter 2012 Native American issue. Next year at AWP 2013 we’ll debut an app for smart phones, and starting with our Summer 2012 issue, our print journal will be available to read on Kindle! This summer is also exciting because it marks our first creative nonfiction essay contest; submissions open for this May 2 and close August 31. All of these initiatives speak back to the energy and diversity of Prairie Schooner.

Check out Prairie Schooner on Facebook and Twitter (@TheSchooner)!

 

Writer QuestionsLeave a comment by May 17 and enter to win a free T-shirt from Prairie Schooner.

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Five Famous Literary Flops (And Why They’re Awesome)

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AWuthering_Heightsll writers can produce clunkers. Novelists have done it, short story writers have done it, poets have done it, and even car-naming “authors” have done it. Yes, Chevrolet’s old Nova didn’t sell well in Spanish-speaking countries with a name that translates to “doesn’t go”!

But sometimes, a book that is regarded as a clunker when it first comes out goes on to be revered and appreciated. Here are just a few books that were subjected to some terrible reviews when they came out. “Clunker” is in the eye of the beholder!

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: Wuthering Heights, that angst-filled classic, was not unanimously loved. Charlotte Bronte wrote an introduction to a later edition of the book that makes no bones about needing to defend the novel against its critics. Reviewers claimed the characters were vulgar and incredible. The story was deemed wild, out of control. These days? Emily’s book is regarded as a breathtaking, moody work that is loved for the very reasons early critics hated it.

Moby Dick by Herman Melville: Melville’s whale of a tale was a flop in his time. Though its characters speared whales for lamp oil, many of the author’s peers much preferred to read by the light of its burning pages. The book was on the market for forty years and sold only a few thousand copies. These days? Even if you haven’t tackled the tome, you know that “Call me Ishmael” is a household phrase.

Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman: Our boy Walt really hit on something with his long ramble of free verse that celebrates the human spirit… And as far as some of his first critics were concerned, the thing he hit on was a perfect laLolitack of good taste. Whitman’s poetry was revolutionary when his book hit the shelves, and it was also misunderstood. These days? Leaves of Grass is required reading that marks a moment of shifting cultural and poetic values.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov: Lolita has always been a controversial novel, and for good reason! It was initially passed over by American publishers before the author decided to seek publication in France. The book got off to a stormy start. Badly presented (the book was allegedly full of typos and didn’t have much of its publisher’s support), Lolita was reviled and even banned. But when it hit the shelves in America, it only took a few days before the book was into its third printing. These days? Lolita will always be a difficult book, but it’s been named to many “best books ever” lists.

Emily Dickinson’s poetry: This beloved American poet published fewer than two dozen poems during her lifetime, so she doesn’t get a book title on our list. Her first collection wasn’t published until after her death. During her lifetime, her poetic ideas were not only questioned but belittled. Some early readers of her poetry adored it, but many found her poems to be off-putting and not-poem-like (because it isn’t a poem if it doesn’t rhyme, right?). It wasn’t until the twentieth century that readers and critics began to appreciate her as a modern poet.

All this reminds us of a joke that gets passed around in writing groups:

light blub joke writersQ: How many critics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Critics can’t change a light bulb. But they’ll watch you do it and tell you a hundred things you could have done better.

So next time you’re sitting in your critique group listening to people bash your book, remember that even the most well-known authors were sometimes panned!

But What About Books That Really ARE Clunkers?

Sometimes, even great writers pen crummy books. It happens. It should happen. The difference between a bad writer and a good writer is that a good writer knows what to throw out before the public reads it.

Clunkers are a natural part of the writing life. Some experiments don’t succeed, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of! Writers should take risks, should go out on a limb, should break new ground—even at the expense of being ridiculed.

But if critics can’t tell whether or not your clunker is a masterpiece, how can you?

How To Spot A Clunker Or A Literary Lemon

  • Trust your instincts. You often know in your heart of hearts when you haven’t done your best work.
  • Spend time apart. It can be hard to see a clunker if you’re not emotionally distant from the work. So it’s good practice to get away from a project for a while and then come back to it with new eyes.
  • Get feedback. Listen to honest critiques from friends, your writing group, and, most importantly, from professionals. Remember that the level of critique you receive is usually on par with the level of the writer giving it. Being critiqued by a person who has published a handful of stories is different than being critiqued by a successful veteran who writes in your genre. Your family, friends, and fellow critique-session attendees might mean well, but also might be a bit too gentle.

What To Do With Your Clunker

clunker_writing

  • Save the best parts for possible use in future projects.
  • Sit down and make a list—thorough and honest—of the project’s weaknesses. Seeing weak points on paper means you can’t ignore them or let your subconscious mind “forget” them. Better work will result!
  • If you do publish a clunker, accept the results with grace—whether the response is good or bad.

The Importance of Clunking

Don’t let fear of writing a clunker hold you back or hinder your creativity. In some circles, writers refer to what’s called “MFA-type writing.” This is writing that’s solid, articulate, and interesting…but also safe, a little dull, and at its deepest levels lacking in some essential passion or drive. It’s said that this type of writing is born from students who are trying to win over their workshop peers and avoid criticism.

In other words, taking risks is key to success. An occasional clunker can be good for the writer’s soul—and the world!

Writer QuestionsQUESTION: Have you ever written a clunker? (You can admit it; we won’t tell anyone!) If so, how did you deal with that? What did you learn?

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